


Undone

by innogueira



Series: Wherever I go, I’m coming back [4]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Bucky Barnes Feels, M/M, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Sad, Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov Friendship, Steve Rogers Feels, bucky's already dead, mentions of domestic stucky, steve rogers - Freeform, when will steve rogers be happy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-06
Updated: 2018-05-06
Packaged: 2019-05-03 02:16:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14558667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/innogueira/pseuds/innogueira
Summary: "The bed was again left undone and Steve wondered how Bucky would have slept that night."The dust hasn't settled in yet and they already have a game plan. Steve just has to say goodbye.





	Undone

The sun’s setting behind Steve, but it manages to peak around his figure, through the half opened blinds, coloring the small room in hues of yellow and orange. The light reflects off the screen of a device that resembles a laptop, left open on a small table by the mess that Bucky Barnes calls bed.

Not even the army managed to break that god awful habit, though Bucky made the effort as to not be punished in basic training. He’d actually make the bed every morning, instead of leaving a tangle of thin sheets on top of a mattress all day, straightening them out right before falling on them, dead to the world.

Steve used to assess Bucky’s mood by the way he left his bed in the morning and how he lied on it at night. If he lied in the bundle of sheets without smoothing them out, it meant that it had been a long day and Bucky was so tired he couldn’t even be bothered to make his bed. He’d wake up the next day in a bigger mess, cursing as he falls out of the bed with his legs tangled on the sheets. He’d have a smile on his face, though, completely recharged.

If he took time to make his bed before crawling under the sheets, then things were good. Bucky was tired but not exhausted. 

Up until the moment Bucky woke up from cryo from Wakanda, Steve hasn't seen a made bed since Zola. He wondered if the Asset would make his bed during missions. He wondered if his handlers knew it didn’t happen, not because he was focused on the mission, but because Bucky Barnes was so tired.

The bed was again left undone and Steve wondered how Bucky would have slept that night. He figured he’d drop on the bed, tired from the battle, still dirty and sweaty, clothes still on. Steve would probably drop next to him, managing to peel out his suit before laying back in his sweaty undershirt. They would sleep until the sun was high in the sky and they would wake up with a content smile. They would have won.

But they didn’t, and Steve can’t handle the fact that Bucky will never lie down again. That he’d never be able to come home from a mission across the globe and drop next to him, feel Bucky’s warmth right there next to him.

Steve gave little notice that he was arriving with company that day, and he didn’t know how much time Bucky had before he had to suit up and meet them at the palace. Maybe he was woken up with the news that there was a fight coming their way and had to leave in a hurry. Maybe had left things exactly like this in the morning before walking out on the fields, thinking he had time to fix them before calling it a day.

Steve walked inside the silent hut, trying his best to keep himself from falling apart. Sitting in a bombed out bar hurt less that being surrounded by Bucky, by his clothes, by his tech, by the things no one would realize were Steve’s unless they were pointed out.

There’s clothes on the floor by the bed, probably what Bucky had on before suiting up, but what Bucky uses to cover the stump, that's folded neatly by his pillow. Bucky always had more respect for that piece of fabric that anything else he had on. Most of it was the fact that it was traditional attire for Wakandians, fabrics and patterns Shuri talked about and Bucky listened attentively. It was respect, but Steve knew it gave the anonymity Bucky craved. He refused another arm, no matter how many times the Princess lured him to her lab to show him all the tech she created, and no matter how in awe Bucky was, he always shook his head curtly when a new appendix was offered. 

There’s a shadow cast over him and for a second Steve’s heart thumps against his chest, and he looks up.

“We need to go.. See if this wizard dude didn’t…” Natasha hesitates for a moment, seeing the way Steve's looking up at her “You know..” she waved it off. Bruce told them about some wizard guy that could create portals and knew a big deal about the Time stone. He could have the answer to this problem. He’s in New York, though, so they need to fly there as soon as possible. Steve just needed a moment. 

Natasha waited as Steve brushed his fingers over the soft material, and started looking around the small hut, raising a brow at some discarded jeans thrown over the back of a chair “He’s definitely not Russian anymore..”

“Those are mine,” Steve simply stated and stood up, tucking the scarf inside his suit, walking past Natasha to go outside. If she hadn’t figured out by now, well, that’s on her. While Steve never revealed where he was laying low after missions, it was obvious he was going to Wakanda. Only a blind man couldn’t see.

Steve looks at their spot, right by the lake, and hesitates for a moment. Last time he was there he wished he could will himself into standing down, staying there with Bucky. Now he’s ready to hop on a plane to keep the fight going. To bring Bucky back. It’s not a fight Steve can back down from.

Maybe…

Maybe when they get everyone back. Maybe Steve will put down the shield and join Bucky in a peaceful life. He lost everything again and again, maybe this really was his wake up call. They just have to defeat Thanos and reverse everything he did. 

He’ll step down then. 

“Steve?” Nat’s hand is supposed to be comforting on his shoulder, but there’s not enough consolation that can help Steve now. He’s burning inside and he’s got to let it out somehow, he’s got to fight. He will fight.

“Let’s go,” he quickly rubs his damp cheeks with the back of his hand before turning to Natasha “We got a lot to avenge.”

**Author's Note:**

> More on the "Steve always went back to Wakanda, fight me" headcanons. I'll make it happy some time.  
> Follow me on Tumblr @ neswrites


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